What I Learned on a Bad Day
"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain." Heb 6:19
I sent the birthday greeting and talked up the memories as they slowly emerged to the forefront of my mind. I sent out a plea to pray as all the stressful situations rushed in for a front row seat. I tried to write but the past kept colliding with the present and all of it made the future look ominous. Fragrance of memory mixed with a present bitter scent just made my head throb. I stumbled around the rest of the day with no clear sense of direction. This all happened yesterday. As much as I looked for hope my greatest hope was that this headache would end as well the day.
This morning as I think on it, I realize hope never was gone. Hope isn't dependent upon me or anything I do. My actions and feelings do not determine it's presence or it's purpose.
Hope does not increase with my benevolent acts nor diminish with my grieving heart. It is a solid rock that holds me every day.
Why couldn't I see it or experience it? I decided to eat popcorn and watch movies (my default) and just kept waiting for tomorrow, like tomorrow would solve it all. And this time it did. My head cleared and my thoughts focused. But there have been days, months, even years when I just was waiting for tomorrow. As much as I knew in my head about hope, my experience blocked my view and couldn't convince me.
Our todays have endings and our tomorrows have beginnings. God only has one day that lasts for eternity. He does not separate by seasons, time, light or darkness. He did that for us. We grow, we change, we experience life. And it is all good. We learn, we get innumerable chances to get up again when we fall. We get to experience grace and faith and hope. In heaven we will not need any of them. A line I recently heard and took to heart . "There's no present like time."
"This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it." Ps 118:24
Whatever today brings know that it is intended for our good. If hard, if lonely, if confusing, it is for a purpose, so rejoice not in the circumstance, but in Him. If happy, if healthy, if bright and sunny, rejoice in Him. The Lord has made it for you and given you a gift of a day. What else does He say about the day?
"... I tell you, now is the time of God’s favor, now is the day of salvation."2 Cor 6:2.
That is today. Every day is today, no matter what kind of day that is.
So this is my hope, this is my rest and this is where I find my inner quietness, not in the exploits, not in my ability to hold onto positive thoughts or block out negative emotions, but to be convinced that Christ's hope is very, very secure.